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Are You Afraid to Laugh?



Clowns

Cheap Laughs

Laughter and jokes and play are undervalued in our serious adult world.

We think of all of these as entertainment, just a way to escape the stress and burdens of a threatening world which weighs us down.

Do you ever feel like you’re carrying more than you can bear?
Laughter picks up those burdens, and takes them away from us, if only for a moment.

A break from our worries is great.
But laughter is much more than an escape.

Laughter can heal.

Studies show that laughter has a positive effect on our health, while negative moods are not good for us.

Sometimes, laughter is a wonderful expression of joy and happiness.
To me, nothing is more beautiful than a heartfelt smile.

I think that our spirit shines through those moments, clear and bright.


But, there are times and places where laughter and humor are not welcome at all.
Laugh during a funeral, a serious speech, or during a solemn religious service, and see what reaction you get!

You’ll be called disrespectful or strange (at best).

What is this struggle between laughter and serious events?
How did laughter become the enemy of solemn, important occasions?

I think it’s because laughter and its extreme cousin, cynicism, are often used to attack and destroy.

We often laugh at things that we find ridiculous or foolish, even when other people find those same things important or sacred.

Laughter can shatter an important moment, and turn it to dust.

Tragically, we sometimes use laughter to pretend that something truly important to us is ridiculous or foolish.

It’s our way of hiding from questions within us that need answers, or hiding from actions that we must do.


The Jester and the Trickster
In medieval times, it was common for kings to have a court jester. The jester was the one person who could joke about almost anything and get away with it.

He was there to entertain the king.

Sometimes his humor would be cruel and destructive to those who he joked about.
But often, he was there to raise important questions.

His job was to trick people into questioning the things that they otherwise would never question.

In the stories and mythology of many cultures there is the character of the trickster.
Sometimes this character is evil, and he seems to exist to bring out the worst in people, and lead them to harm themselves and others.

At other times, this character is a troublemaker, who doesn’t let people continue undisturbed in their everyday lives. He forces them to see the foolishness and weakness in themselves.

If the victims of his tricks don’t do anything with that knowledge, then the trickster is just an annoying character.
But if he succeeds in waking them up, he has performed an incredible service to them.


Playing With Fire

Laughter is like fire or any powerful tool.
It can be used to wake us up, to move us along the path of personal growth, to bring us healing and joy, or to destroy.

I’ve spoken before (in Caution: Shape Shifters at Play and Why are we afraid to Play? ) about the power of play that enables us to try out other ways of thinking and acting.

You are the ultimate possibility machine.

Did you ever think about how many different lives might be possible for a single person?

Even you.

Sure, you pretend that everything must be exactly as it is, but that’s the voice of fear speaking. We’re caught in a whirlwind of fear — fear of change, fear of facing a world where anything can happen.

We all find ourselves stuck, caught in a world made small by our habits and mindless rules.

Fortunately, there are certain forces in our lives that have the power to suspend our habits and our rules, to suspend the certainty that life can only be just as it is.

Laughter and play are two such forces.
They are like a reset button which shuts off all the little programs and voices within us that are running our lives.

Do you feel the lightness and the freedom that comes with play and positive laughter?

It’s not that we’ve escaped responsibility.
We’ve entered an abundant, open space where possibility is real, free of our limiting beliefs.

So, how will you use the power of laughter and play?

You can use those forces against others to try to hurt them, to leave them temporarily or permanently without the comfort of their habits and beliefs.

You can use those forces to help others.

Better yet, begin with yourself.
Use laughter, play, and imagination to open up a space of possibility in your life.

Will you get nervous without your habits of thought, feeling, and action to tell you who to be and what to do?

Yes.

The emptiness and fear may lead you to jump back into the familiar, or fill the moments with a simple game that doesn’t question your life.

But you have another choice.
You could play at being someone else for a few moments.

Or, perhaps, you could play at being someone else for the rest of your life.


 Series: Paths of Abundance

Wealth Beyond Reason - Bob Doyle\'s course on The Law of Attraction

The Gatekeeper

The Gatekeeper
Why is it so hard to see the truth about ourselves?

Our desires and fears color everything we think and see.
We’re not completely objective about anything.

But, it’s easier to look at someone else’s situation and see it more clearly, more truly.

Do you ever find yourself going in circles, unable to decide, unable to take action?
You feel the urge to move in some positive direction, and at the same time, you feel compelled to stay where you are, or move in some trivial way that is no movement at all.

Sometimes, we’re aware of being stuck, and it pains us.
Other times, we just dismiss it as no big deal.

Yet, when we look at others who are stuck like this, we can’t understand what’s wrong with them.

We often say to others the equivalent of “just do it.”
Personal Development seems easy from the outside, looking in.

Maybe you know people who are addicts, or who have some compulsive behavior, or phobias.

And you, who don’t suffer from their addiction or behavior, just can’t understand why they do what they do. Continue reading »Are You Acting Like a Spoiled Child?



The Incredible, Shrinking Relationship
Why Do Relationships Wither and Die?
Relationships shrink.

They get smaller and smaller until there’s no room to breathe.
Then, you must break out, or go crazy.

Have you ever felt like that?
If you can get past the pain and frustration and sadness, ask yourself how something rich and alive fell apart.

We may try to blame every problem on someone else, but the truth is more complicated.

We are not powerless. The decay of a relationship is not inevitable.
Are you a player in your own life, or does everything just happen to you?

Are personal growth and personal development real to you, or just words?
Continue reading »Why Do Relationships Wither and Die?


 Series: Paths of Abundance


Are You Hiding From Your Dreams?
Living Dreams
I love imagination, passion, and possibility.

Weave them together with a sprinkling of hope.
Dreams of a bright future will fill your heart and mind.

And dreams are the fuel that drives personal growth.

Do you think that you’re too old to dream?
Many people assume that only the young can dream.

Everyone has moments when they are filled with passionate dreams of the future. Continue reading »Are You Hiding From Your Dreams?


 Series: Paths of Abundance

 
4 tools to take  control of your life

In the first two articles in this series, we explored seven ways that choice becomes a burden and a problem in your life.

Then, in the third article, we introduced three tools you can use to overcome those seven problems, and get back control of your life.

Here, we present four more tools to master the problems of choice.

 
The First Tool: Define Yourself!
Consider the three areas of:

  1. Being (who you are, including character and attitudes)
  2. Having (including possessions and knowledge)
  3. Doing (your actions, and the skills that enable you to act)

You define yourself, and let others judge you, according to a combination of the things you have, the activities you do, and the kind of person that you are.

You enrich or burden your life through the standards and goals you set for yourself in each of the three areas. This is key to personal growth.
Continue reading »Four Tools to Take Control of Your Life


Confusion

Out of Control?
Are you in control of your life?
Life is wonderful, and dangerous and unpredictable.

Sure, you pretend that you have everything under control.
But you know that’s not true.

Pretending to be in control makes you feel safe.
And everyone wants to feel safe.

It’s hard to think about personal growth, enjoying life, or anything else, when you don’t feel safe.
Continue reading »Three Ways to Escape Confusion and Take Control


Very few things in this world are one-sided, all good or all bad.
In Part 1 of this series I introduced the idea that the extraordinary human power of choice can lead us into our own personal hell.

Barry Schwartz has written an insightful book on the dark side of choice, called The Paradox of Choice.

I’ve extracted and combined the many ideas that Schwartz discusses into 7 key pathways or gateways into a personal hell.

In part one, I covered the first four gateways. In this article, we’ll discuss the remaining three gateways.

Gateway to Hell
Continue reading »Seven Ways That Choice Makes Your Life Hell, Part 2


 Series: Choice and the Gateways to Hell

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